I’m well aware of this, but I don’t have time to watch three hours of gifted athletes running up and down the Astroturf, spinning past defensive linemen. I have a family.

 

My motto is: sports will have to wait. I do that by taping the games for viewing later—after the kids are tucked in on weeknights or before dinner on weekends when the kids are getting cleaned up.

 

Saving time—or finding time for ourselves—is pretty touch for fathers these days. We’re always last in line… but that’s OK. It comes with the territory.

 

A father’s duties include loving his wife and children, providing strong leadership, earning a living to support the family, and imparting spiritual values to his kids. And that’s just the short list.

 

How can we carve out more hours with the family? Browse through this menu of ideas from other men:

 

If possible, rearrange your work schedule. Herb is an orthopedic surgeon in Akron, Ohio. At 43, he is getting his practice established, but Herb knows the medical profession can gobble up hours in huge chunks.

 

“How do I spend time with my kids?” said Herb, repeating the question. “I’m not a morning person, so I’ve changed my hours around. That way, I don’t have to go into the office right away. I can eat breakfast with my kids and take them to school. I’ll start my surgeries at 1 o’clock in the afternoon and go until 7 p.m. or so.”

 

Make mealtime a priority. Eating together is a time to reconnect. It promotes communication, which promotes discussion, which promotes sharing, which promotes love. Did you ever notice that when you flip on the TV? You want some sort of communication, even if it’s one-way.

 

Brad, a New England father, says when his family sits down for dinner, he asks each child, “What was the best thing that happened to you today?”

 

“Doing that stimulates talk, and everyone has to listen,” says Brad. “That way, we begin the dinner conversation with a positive focus, and I try to remember something each one said so when it’s time for nightly prayer, I can say, ‘Thanks, Lord, for helping Jeremy pass the test.’”

 

In the last year, Brad has also tried to spend some unscheduled time with his kids. Sometimes he’ll knock on the bedroom door and ask to come in and just talk. “It’s amazing how kids will open up then,” he says.

 

Turn off the TV. What article worth its salt wouldn’t suggest this? It’s a fact: letting the hours vaporize in front of the “boob tube” is a waste of time.

 

Do “Daddy dates.” Westy, a Wisconsin father, says he can think of nothing better than taking his 9-year-old daughter out for breakfast or dinner. “She knows the only reason we’re going out is so we can talk,” says Westy. “We probably get as much conversation in during that one meal as we do all week. We sit across the table from one each other and converse; there are a lot of questions and answers going on. These ‘Daddy dates’ tell my daughter that she is very, very important to me.”

 

A good time to start “dating” your child is around 8 or 9 years old. “Don’t wait until he or she is 15 years old. That’s too late,” says Westy. By spending individual time with your child, you build a friendship, so when the really big discussions pop up later (love, dating and sex), a foundation has already been laid.

 

Include your children in your vacations. You’d be surprised at the number of families who vacation without their kids. When Randy, a Texas rancher, and his family go on vacation, they drive. That way, Randy is certain they’ll have plenty of time in the car. (Believe it or not, that’s the way he wants it!) One of the kids sits with Dad in the font seat, and as the scenery passes by, long discussions ensue.

 

Volunteer to coach your child’s sports team. When you make that commitment to coach, it forces you to spend time with your children. That’s the way Jeffrey, a Sacramento father, slices out hours with his four children (ranging in age from 3 to 15). He has coached baseball for eight years, from Little League through Pony League.

 

If you can’t be a coach, then cheer from the grandstands. Max, an attorney, said he always wanted to take time to be with young Max Jr., but he (Max Sr.) wasn’t the athletic type. “I didn’t coach, but I went to all the Little League games, where I could encourage him. And when he started playing high school football, I was there, even for his J.V. games that started at 3 p.m. I was glad to have a job with flexible hours.”

 

Max adds that he and his wife had made an early commitment to go to everything at school: recitals, sports, and band concerts—you name it. “Even if the kids tell you they don’t want you to show up, they really do,” he says.

 

Make the best use of your recreational time. Some recreation eats up a lot of time. Take golf, for instance. When I play, it burns up most of a Saturday. Even if I’m a member of the “dawn patrol,” I’m still not home till noon. So I decided golf will have to wait.

 

That’s why I play a lot of tennis, but I’ve had to cut back there, too. Usually, I’ll play one or two mornings a week before work, starting at 6:15 a.m. I figure it’s better to play while the kids are still sleeping than to practice my backhand after work when they’re home.

 

Finally, remember that your kids are keeping tabs on you. When 1,500 school children were asked by social scientists John DeFrain and Nick Stinnett, “What do you think makes a happy family?”, the children didn’t list money, fine homes or big-screen TVs. No, the answer most frequently offered was “doing things together.”

 

“I once saw a sign in the nursery,” said Herb, the orthopedic surgeon. “It said: ‘Children spell love L-O-V-E.’ You can’t buy your kids’ affection unless you spend your time with them.”