As a woman, what I want most from the men in my life isn't flowers, or candy or other gifts.

 

Don't get me wrong, these gestures are appreciated. But gifts by themselves are not a replacement for intimacy--the emotional closeness that sets the stage for relationship.

 

I would rather have a phone call or personal visit from my son than flowers. I feel honored when he shares his problems and the things that weigh heavily on his mind. When he tells me the plans and dreams he has for himself and his family, I feel a part of his life, even though I am thousands of miles away.

 

When my brothers share their lives with me in conversation, I feel far more honored than when I just receive cards that they felt obligated to send.

 

One day, my son-in-law put his arm around me and said, "I am so glad you're my wife's mother." What an expression of honor that was!

 

A dear friend with whom I've ministered for several years is a real encourager. Just before I begin preaching, he says how eager he is to hear from God through me. That encouragement always stirs my faith.

 

Telling your wife, mother, sister or daughter how much you appreciate their ministry to you as well as applauding their successes means so much. It's also important to let them know that you hurt when they hurt and that you are there for them.

 

One of my brothers never hangs up from a phone call without asking, "Is there anything that I can do for you?" I do not think I have ever asked him for a thing, but just knowing he offers is great.

 

Taking the women in your life to your world is another way to honor them. My son invited me to meet him for lunch at his job. When I arrived, he took me around and introduced me to his colleagues and superiors. I knew that he was proud of me, and I felt very honored.

 

It doesn't take a lot of time to show respect, demonstrate love and develop intimacy, just quality time.

 

If you want to make a woman happy, fulfilled and honored, give her yourself. No one else can give her that, and no gift will be more appreciated.

 

By Iverna Tompkins, an author and co-founder of Women of the Word Conferences.